Washington Game Preview – Homecoming

It has been an eventful week in college football.  First off:

The news was focused on Penn State – now known as “Bring’m Young University.”  Apparently, the school’s board of trustees didn’t buy Joe’s excuse – which was essentially “I didn’t do anything because I didn’t know he was raping the 10 year old boy.  I thought he was merely molesting him.”  That’s because; back in Joe’s time – like “white only” dining rooms, drunk driving or sexual harassment – child molestation evidently wasn’t a real big deal.

Penn State students are irate about the decision.  Last night, a “mini-riot” of sorts broke out where a TV van was toppled and destroyed, and order was restored by cops in riot gear.  This shows you how delusional these students are.  Just as Woody Hayes had to be fired for punching that player, Jim Tressel had to be fired for lying to the NCAA, Maurice Clarett had to be thrown off the Buckeyes, (hmmm… funny how those are all Ohio State Examples), Joe Paterno had to be cut loose.  Let’s be honest here; none of those Buckeyes did anything that’s even in the same league of bad as Joe’s actions were.  He turned a blind eye to a booster who was sexually abusing children in Penn State’s locker rooms!  By doing this – he allowed it to continue.  Frankly, Paterno is lucky that ALL he’s getting is fired.

Much has been made in the media about Paterno’s 409 wins, so I decided to compare that to USC’s record since 1966.  Since 1966; back when we played in a conference called “AAWU,” Our record has been 392 wins, 118 losses and 14 ties.  During the same time, the Nittany Lions were 409-136-3.  If you pull out the calculator; you’ll see that USC’s win percentage is 74.8%, while Penn State’s is 74.6%.  More importantly – his “in conference” win percentage is 62.5% while ours is 74.9%.  That’s right – it happened – we’re better!

USC also wins in the “additional accolades” department.  During those 46 years, Penn State only managed 1 Heisman Trophy and 2 National Championships; while we racked up 6 Heisman Trophies (Mike Garrett won in ’65; and doesn’t count here), and 6 National Championships.

In conclusion; Joe Paterno is famous because he’s not quite as good as USC football has been.  Some bruin alumni on Facebook were calling for JoPa to replace Neweasel immediately.  For the reason previously stated, he’d be perfect – right?  My response is that they should hire Jim Tressel immediately.  He’s dishonest, and has an uncanny knack for blowing big games – a true bruin!

On to the Washington game.  This is another grudge match between Kiffin and a school that’s located in the same city as a statue of Joseph Stalin.  (pic?)  After the ass-whipping the ducks handed his team, Nick Holt declared that he would rather play USC than Oregon because “He knows how to stop them.” This is just an obviously-inferior team talking trash the week before they walk in and get humiliated.  Think ucla in the week before every SC game.

The first installment in Seattle's planned "despot row." Next up; Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and Gray Davis.

We’re going to win because we’ve got superior talent and superior coaching.  Lane seems to have purged the “lose to a crummy team” bug from the Trojans – one that grew fat and healthy during the Carroll years.  We’ve got Barkley-Woods-Lee; who are going to be 1, 2, 3 in the Heisman balloting next year.  We’ve got a special teams squad that blocks seemingly 40% of all field goals, and our running backs are fast and hungry.

If it isn’t raining; I’ll be at the Coliseum on Saturday bringing it.  (If it is raining – I’ll be bringing it from my nice, dry living room.)  Fight On!

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One Response to Washington Game Preview – Homecoming

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