My second favorite USC blogger (I am, naturally, my first favorite), posted the following photo on Facebook of the new Chano’s food truck:
I won’t eat from a “portable Chano’s” unless it looks like the real Chano’s. I mean every detail, too. It’s gotta be:
- So run-down that part of your brain says “should I really be buying food from this place?”
- Staffed by a 10-year old kid. At 3AM. On a school night.
- Proudly displaying its’ “C” from the health department.
Additionally, it will need:
- Something ass-backwards like their passenger-side drive through window.
- A ton of cops hanging out in front to give your late night food run the proper amount of danger; as you’re doing the “I’m so drunk that I’m swaying in the wind” move.
- To accept credit cards. I think that kept Chanos in business in the 90’s – the fact that, after spending all your money on booze, you could still get some food.
Hmmm. I have realized that I tend to pick all my restaurants according to a “checklist” format. For example:
While looking for good Chinese restaurants, I’ll seek one with:
- Rude servers. (Well, not really rude. It’s more of a “Here’s the menu. Order some food, or get the fuck out. We don’t care which” attitude.) I admire honesty like that.
- Linoleum floors.
- Dead animals hanging in the windows.
- A “B” grade from the health department. Everyone knows that you get an “A” by bribing the health inspector. If there’s a “B” in the window, it’s been legitimately earned. God knows what’s going on in the back of those “A” places.
Japanese restaurants are easy. I look for:
- An “all Japanese front.” (Although everyone knows that the kitchen – like every other restaurant – is run by Mexicans.)
- Every employee of the place says “Hello!” as I walk in.
- The sushi bar’s gotta have uni and toro – or I’m out of there.
While I was doing my Google Image search for “crappy food truck,” I came across this pic. It reminds me of the ice cream trucks I used to see around SC. You know – the “fortified with steel cages” look. My favorite sport was to yell “Tienes Mota?” at those guys, and watch how fast they stopped.
As for football; the season is almost upon us. I can almost taste the Derrick’s Turkey Dogs and see those ugly Cal fans. I see that the Minnesota game is a 12:30 kick off. Afterwards, for old times’ sake; I’ll have to stop by Chano’s for some take-out. Make mine a mix-up burrito!