Trojans vs ucla Preview.

     I’ve been hearing all kinds of noise about how this is “their year” from bruin alumni.  First my gardener brought it, then the workers outside Home Depot, and even the oil change guy at Econo Lube and Tune.  Then I went out to Fashion Island in Orange County flying “the flag,”  (wearing a USC sweater,) and found that I was in a friendly place.  I spoke with a lot of like-minded Trojans about how this is not the bruins year, and how we are going to make an example of them on Saturday.

      I knew this picture would come up on here again.  Painting this stupid bear in Trojan colors is not only a glorious victory for Trojan fans everywhere, it just shows how pitiful ucla fans are.  Tommy Trojan is guarded 24 hours a day during rivalry week, but apparently one can just waltz right onto the bruin campus and have his way with their statue.  I remember, in the mid-90’s, a fraternity on campus that proudly displayed a framed photo of some of their members in front of that statue with “USC” painted across it in big, gold letters.  That was one of the Jewish houses too! (Not your average drunken, fighting frat boys.)  During a pledge scavenger hunt for my fraternity in 1995, 12 of us walked onto ucla’s campus and got a student who was walking by to take a picture of us all pissing on the bear.  The student refused at first, but one of our surlier members barked “Take the picture, or I’ll kick your ass!”  The student dutifully took the picture.  A Trojan would have stood his ground and duked it out.  (Or at least would have had the sense to run.)  By the way, that same line worked when we had to convince Nicole Brown Simpson’s former neighbor to take a picture of us in front of her house on Bundy.

      The Trojan faithful struck again this year:

 Click Here To See How We Won The Prank War Again.

      Be sure and watch that video at the end where they interview USC and ucla students.  Trojan students are well spoken, respectable individuals – while the bruin examples are all dirty hippies.

     As I was riding my bike around the Rose Bowl on Sunday, I saw some CalTrans electronic signs warning the public to stay away from the “ucla event” on Sunday.  It looks like the city mistakenly expects a ucla win.  See, when bruins win – just like any other low-class fans – they riot.  (Remember the riots in Westwood after the basketball team won the NCAA championship.)  At USC, we’ve won a big game or two.  Riots – never.  That’s because we’ve been there before.  Trojans have class, and class is all about acting like you’ve been there before.  I went to a party at the Playboy Mansion about 5 years ago.  We ate the food, toured the grounds – including the disgusting “sex room” adjacent to the game room, and scored a great Jim Brown signed photo at the charity auction.  Some flunky (ucla grad, no doubt) came by with some crappy, Playboy-embroidered towels and said we could have them if we jumped in the pool.  Some nearby guys and gals immediately stripped down to their underwear and jumped in the pool.  I yawned, said “I hate swimming in that pool – here’s 20 bucks” and scored myself 2 towels.  Some gal in the grotto was gushing about how she “had a story to tell her grandkids.”  I said “you people are lame,” and walked away happily – and dryly.  I then used those towels the following Sunday to clean my bike, and threw them away.  THAT’s how you do it – with swagger!

     The Trojans will win on Saturday – and one only needs to look at our coaches to know why.  Lane Kiffin is, as another blogger said, a Trojan through and through.  He’s got a hot wife, tons of money, and the hatred of non-Trojans everywhere.  Even better, he was head coach of the 7th-winningist program in college – the goofy-named Tennessee Volunteers.  When the Trojans offered him the head coaching job, he immediately called a press conference and said “Screw all you hillbillies – I’m going home.”  The bruins – on the other hand – have Rick Neweasel.  Rick was the offensive coordinator who guided the Baltimore Ravens to a stellar 5-11 record in 2007, so ucla hired him to run their team.  What’s interesting about Rick is that he was the head coach at two other colleges – and was ridden out of both towns on a rail after his fourth year there.  For those of you keeping score, Neweasel  has been coaching ucla since 2008.  What’s he gonna pull that will get him fired in 2011?  We all remember the full-page ad that ucla ran after his hiring:

Pete Carroll’s response was great.  A reported showed it to him and asked his opinion.  Pete said “Who’s that?  Joe Torre?”  ‘Nuff said.

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2 Responses to Trojans vs ucla Preview.

  1. Lou says:

    awesome, just awesome

  2. Pingback: USC 38, Oregon 35 | USC Trojan Football Blog

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